Year: 2018


Star Trek TNG: S2 – Elementary, Dear Data

(part of the Season Two Episode Guide)


Data is too good at solving Sherlock-esque mysteries, so Geordi makes a wish on a holodeck star and almost kills everyone.

Meanwhile Geordi was one elbow patch away from being a young college professor trying too hard.

Memory Hole:

Moriarty calling the arch was a genuine surprise. Along with the wonderfully sexist “Mister Computer” when he talks to the ship (that speaks back in a female voice, but whatever).

“Mister Computer, I would like 20lbs of cocaine. Oh, and for my prostitute companion to not have the clap.”

The Quote:

Why would you even suggest that?!

After Geordi suggests using a particle beam to destroy Moriarty and all the human flesh in the holodeck too (which includes the new doctor).

Wife’s Favorite Moment:

Moriarty’s request to keep existing.

“But seriously, if you turn off the holodeck, I’ll die. Can you maybe figure out how to save me between your risk free orgies?”

Wife’s Verdict:

“I hope I’m not just a hologram traveling on someone else’s spaceship.”

What’s this About?

The definition of life. It’s no coincidence that Data is the lead in this mystery. Himself struggling with the meaning of life and sentience. A theme we’ll encounter again later this season.

And let’s not forget that this starts the “you have to tell the computer exactly what you mean” otherwise it’ll create something that might destroy the ship trend that permeates the series.


Star Trek TNG: S2 – The Child

(part of the Season Two Episode Guide)


Immaculate conception! Facial hair! Racist doctor! Space Whoopi!

Memory Hole:

Pulaski starts in on her Data hatred right off the bat. She wears her bigotry on her sleeve. If Twitter were still around in the 24th century, she’d be trolling him pretty hard.

Probably, but still rude.

Ten Forward is a great set. They really needed a big open space for people to converge.
And since when does the Enterprise have a puppy room?!

“They need a lot of attention, but you can beam their poop into space, so there’s that.”

The Quote:


Tinkerbell never heard of affirmative consent.

Wife’s Favorite Moments:

Wes and Guinan have a heart to heart.
Troi saying goodbye to her son/alien.

“I’ll miss you. Even though you kept me up late with your incessant twinkling.”

Wife’s Verdict:

“Life began before conception!”

What’s this About?

Growing up, letting go, and making tough (unexpected choices). They spend a lot of time with Wesley’s B story about whether or not to stay on the Enterprise or go out into the world, cutting short Troi’s exploration of her unexpected child.

The writers were clearly still figuring things out, and giving Troi a baby opened up more possibilities for her character, who didn’t have much to do in season one. But don’t worry, that lesson will be forgotten shortly.

Movies & TV

Star Trek TNG: Season 2 Episode Guide

Season Two!

A new doctor! Riker’s beard! Guinan! The introduction of the Borg!

That is definitely a moon backdrop, not something left over from Wil Wheaton’s prom.

TNG’s second season starts to pick up steam. With so many important introductions and two or three great episodes, the show really starts to hit its stride. It’s not perfect (the season ends in a clip show due to the writer’s strike), but it’s a strong lead into character arcs and storylines we’ll be following for the rest of the series.

What makes it required?
Character introductions, strong character development, intriguing science fiction concepts, etc.
Continuity (C) – All episodes marked as C are not necessarily great. Or maybe even good. But they are required to make sense of things, even if it’s for a payoff seasons later.
Silliness (S) – These episodes are ridiculous. But I’m looking forward to the “WTF just happened?” bonding time on the couch with my wife.

Season Two
Originally aired 1988-89
(all episode guides contain spoilers)

Where Silence Has Lease
Elementary, Dear Data – Watch
The Outrageous Okona
Loud as a Whisper
The Schizoid Man
Unnatural Selection
A Matter of Honor  – Watch
The Measure of a Man – Watch
The Dauphin – Watch (S)
Contagion – Watch
The Royale – Watch (S)
Time Squared – Watch
The Icarus Factor – Watch
Pen Pals  – Watch
Q Who – Watch
Samaritan Snare
Up the Long Ladder
The Emissary – Watch
Peak Performance – Watch
Shades of Gray
Final count – Watch 13, Skip 9

It’s a good plan. And you can follow along! As we watch each episode, I’ll post a brief entry with my scientific findings. Do I regret including an episode? Was it as bad/good/cheesy/erotic as I remember? What did the wife think of the whole thing? How often do they change uniform designs on this damned show anyway? Stay tuned.

Movies & TV

Star Trek TNG: S1 – The Neutral Zone


Data saves some human relics of the 20th century while the Enterprise plays hide & seek with a Romulan ship.

Memory Hole:

Nobody gives a damn about the capsule except for Data. It ends up having three humans on board, but the rest of the crew treats it like a big inconvenience.

“Are we supposed to be the villains? Because these jumpsuits are giving off a strong ‘Bond Villain’ vibe here.”

Also, their story has nothing to do with the Romulans (the supposed A storyline). It’s like they had two half storylines and said “Fuck it. The 20th century dude can spin some wisdom at a key moment. Makes total sense.”

Sorry Romulans, this episode is now about 20th century rubes excited about their compound interest.

The Quote:

She’s a fucking necromancer.

-Fiancé about Doctor Crusher’s ability to bring the 3 capsule jockeys back to life.

Baller Bev
Seriously, they were all dead. Look how casually she treats this miracle. Bev is a baller.

Fiancé’s Favorite Moment:

Beverly’s casual miracle of bringing three people cryogenically frozen for 350 years back to life. NBD.

Fiancé’s Verdict:

The lesson from the B story: The focus of life is to improve one self, not collect wealth.

“Ok, if you don’t have a copy of the Wall Street Journal, I’ll take a USA Today. I can slum it.”
Movies & TV

Star Trek TNG: S1 – Conspiracy


Federation bigwigs are behaving strangely, and only Picard, with the help of his Scooby gang, can unmask the evil doers.

Memory Hole:
(forgotten gems)

There’s so much:

Picard’s shiny hotel room sheets.

Standard in every 1980s Howard Johnson hotel.

Nobody ever beams down with cold/hot weather gear.

“So are these pajamas both insulating AND breathable?”

The final bad guy dies in a really really gruesome way.

I knew that all you can eat Olive Garden ravioli was a bad idea.

The Quote:

Right in the kidneys!

-The fiancé during one of the many fight sequences.

“Do you know if these grubs have eaten an organic diet? I’m trying to be paleo.”

Fiancé’s Favorite Moment:

Admiral Roundhouse

He takes his vitamins (actual line of dialogue in this scene).

Fiancé’s Verdict:

They could have drawn out this conspiracy over even more episodes. It felt like a season finale.